"Dear Daughter"

I wrote this for anyone who struggles with finding their place, using their voice, and claiming their worth.

You’re too much

Too loud

Too direct

Too bossy

Too eager

The negative inner chatter of shame and blame echoed loudly in my head. The resonant messages were so deep, I couldn’t shake them.

My personality was too big for some people. So I learned how to become small.

To shrink inside myself when no one was watching and escape into my own world where I was accepted, valued, cherished, and loved. At least here I mattered. Here, I was enough.

As a young girl, I would draw, write, and create for hours. I learned to sew and design my own clothes. Outside, I would climb up the California Oak trees in my backyard with my favorite book, escaping the world.

Because of my creative spirit, I turned my energy inward for good, rather than letting the harsh judgments harden my heart and drain my spirit. Even at this tender, young age, I knew better than to let others steal my joy.

While on a family road trip down I-5 one summer, my parents bought me one of those laminated cards at a truck stop that had the meaning of my name written on it in fancy calligraphy: “A quiet spirit” it read, to which my mom always added with a decent amount of sarcasm and snark “with a loud voice.”

Growing up, my boundless energy followed me wherever I went. Friends nicknamed me “the Energizer Bunny” as I bounced between activities until my battery was drained and I crashed at the end of the day, ready to recharge and do it all again tomorrow.

I played girls fast-pitch softball and sang loud Alto in the spring musical. I poured out my energy on the pages of AP English essays and danced it out on stage in show choir. I volunteered at the local children’s hospital and worked at my church’s summer camp.

The voice in the back of my head that reminded me I was “too much,” grew quieter as I contributed to causes I cared about.

Years later once “Google” became a verb, I searched for the meaning of my name on Ancestry.com: “The name Leslie originates from English and has its roots in the Old English word les, meaning joy.”

Something powerful clicked into place as I read this description. A quiet spirit that is fueled by joy exudes life. One of my favorite scriptures immediately came to mind:

When we embody the fullness of joy, there is an overflow of contentment that comes from His Spirit. A quiet, gentle spirit provides the fertile soil for our life to produce good fruit.

It is not the name we are born with that matters. For it is His name we must put on daily as we move through our messy lives and choose to live to reflect a greater purpose. Having our identify firming rooted in Christ allows us to have confidence that He is already doing a good work in and through our lives.

Now as a mother of a young daughter with the same boundless energy, I am reminded that the messages we share matter deeply as they shape our worldviews. I pray that she, too, learns to embody the fullness of joy that her life reflects. To never feel like she is too much or not enough. To embrace each day for the purpose she was created.

Dear Daughter,

You are made in the perfect image of the King: Your Father who intentionally designed you for His good works.

Don’t ever let anyone make you think or feel that you are not enough or are too much. You are just right.

He loved you before you were even born and has an eternal plan to use your life for a BIG purpose.

So keep living.

Dive into learning the things that spark your joy.

Serve others with a kind and open heart.

Share your compassion and creativity with the world as you blaze trails and make waves.

Don’t hold back.

He’s ready and waiting in the wings.

He has given you His name, and it’s a good name, sweet girl.