Leaving the Someday Isle

What Kingdom Are You Seeking Now?

Growing up, I loved listening to and reading fairy tales of distant lands and magical places: Conquering castles, slaying dragons, and finding buried treasure. They allowed me to temporarily escape whatever was troubling me by suspending reality as I basked in the comfort of my imagination. At this tender young age, I didn’t recognize this as a need to escape, rather it just felt magical and exciting!

Now as an adult, I’ve noticed other ways we choose to escape the reality of our circumstances. Instead of getting lost in a faraway fantasy, we tend to put conditions on our present happiness by either existing in the past of regrets or the future of unfulfilled expectations.

We say things like “I should have…” or “I could really…” or even “Someday I’ll…”

To illustrate the impact of these statements, I’ve decided to write a fairy tale of my own. I call it “Leaving the Someday Isle.”

Once upon a time in a land far, far away…

there were two kingdoms that were constantly fighting.  In the Land of Could, the citizens spent their time daydreaming and talking about all of the things they could do in a world filled with so many possibilities. Their neighbors in the Land of Should often criticized the people of Could for being unrealistic and unproductive because they were too busy talking about what they could do rather than getting things done.

Instead of focusing on the future, the citizens of Should were keenly aware of everything they needed to do in the present. Their daily obligations and the things they should do often left them no time to ever consider what else they wanted in their lives. Instead, they ended each day exhausted and anxious about all the things they still needed to do, often getting little sleep and leading frantic lives.

The people of Could felt sorry for the Should’s task-oriented nature and didn’t understand why anyone would want to waste their time doing so many things that wouldn’t really matter in the future. Yet the Coulds also felt depressed because they hadn’t accomplished or achieved anything tangible in their lives, leaving them with a sense of uselessness.  Their lives were lived in service to their future dreams, rather than the present reality.

Right off the coast of the Land of Could, was a beautiful island with pristine beaches and endless hours of sunlight. The people of Could often traveled here for escape where they were able to ignore these negative feelings of worthlessness and emptiness as they thrived off the collective energy of all of their dreams and ambitions. It was fondly called the “Someday Isle.”

Driven by restlessness and burn out, citizens of Should would also vacation here to escape the pressures of their daily lives. Individuals from Should came to the Someday Isle merely to have space to think about all they wanted to do beyond their current responsibilities that suffocated them. Here, they traded in their endless “to do” lists for fruity drinks with colorful umbrellas as they talked about all the things that would happen someday when their lives were different.

The Someday Isle was neutral ground for both Kingdoms, where people intermingled as they escaped the reality of their lives. But even with the constant buzz of ideas, future plans, and big dreams, an unspoken understanding existed among the travelers. They knew that after the vacation was over, they would return to life as normal until their next visit. Packing their suitcases and heading home, they left the temporary utopia where all felt right in the world – even for a moment. They need to leave the island.

What Kingdom do you live in? 

Take a moment to consider how you currently spend your time. Are you constantly dreaming about all that could be, while neglecting to live in the present?  Or are you too focused on all the daily tasks that you start “shoulding” on yourself and lose sight of the bigger picture? While each side has its costs and benefits, residing entirely in one Kingdom is limiting and can cause anxiety and other mental health issues.

As the citizens of Could and Should discovered, it tempting to escape our lives altogether – even temporarily – to make them seem more desirable, or at least bearable. It’s much easier to transport ourselves to the Someday Isle, telling ourselves we can get through whatever is in our way now because “Someday, I’ll…”

• Have a better job

• Find the perfect partner

• Buy a bigger house

• Have a good hair day

• Lose ten pounds

• Be happy

Yet how many times do we put conditions on our present happiness by existing in the future of unfulfilled expectations?  There has to be a better way…